And the kids!  Also growing too fast.  One is a year away from high school and the other three are finally all in elementary school.  We have bid a joyful farewell to daycare tuition and a trepidatious hello to backpacks filled with projects.  Not to mention the stuff that goes on during all this growing…hormones raging, peer pressures (but mom…everyone in the first grade has a 32GB  iPhone 4), and missing teeth.  Which, by the way….

If you have kids, you know that they usually start to lose teeth when they hit kindergarten, and that’s exactly what’s been going on around here.  So with one cherub entering second grade this fall, the Tooth Fairy is a frequent flier in these parts.  There is always great excitement when suddenly someone realizes that ‘my tooth is wiggly!!!!’ at the dinner table.   They know very well that in the morning, they will be one dollar richer.  However, in these trying economic times, one dollar doesn’t seem to be enough.  About a month ago, Maggie lost tooth number four while I was out enjoying free time running boring errands.  It was hubby’s day off, so he was left in charge.  By the time I got back, everyone was snug in their beds, the house in peaceful slumber.  Errands tend to take long on hubby’s day off.

Hubby:  Oh by the way, Maggie lost her tooth.

Me:  Oh yeah?  Cool, guess Tooth Fairy is coming over later.

Hubby:  Yeah, about that…I think Maggie wrote her a note.  They were all doing something and they wouldn’t let me see, but she put a slip of paper under her pillow.

Me:  How sweet!   I have to peek in and see what it says.

Girl Scout turns Crime Boss...film at 11.

 

Some parents have musical prodigies, others have natural-born athletes.  We have a future business woman.

Always making us proud.

So we’re crammed in the doctor’s office the other day, because of course I like to save time by making the annual appointment for all four kids at once.  It is better than visiting the dreaded place four different times in a year.  The visit is going pretty good, at least after the finger pinch which I think has emotionally scarred Maggie for life.  And then it’s time for the pee sample.  My oldest gets to go on his own, what with him being 13 and all.  But the others…it’s safe to say they don’t shut the door at home, why bother taking turns now.  It’s not like they’re going to be able to ‘catch’ the specimen on their own anyway.   So while we’re in the bathroom and I’m trying to gauge their ‘aim’, the conversation turns to babies in bellies.

Maggie:

Ok I have no idea what Maggie said to start the conversation because frankly, I was kinda grossed out having to stick my hand halfway down the toilet to catch the piss.  But they did get my undivided attention when…

Logan:  No, that’s not how the babies get in the mom’s bellies!  It’s when the moms kiss the dads on the MOUTH.

Me:  Huh?

Logan:  When the mom and dad kiss on the mouth…that’s how babies get in bellies.

Me:  How did we get on this conversation and who told you this?

Logan:  Brady (little friend from school)

Me:  Oh yeah?  What were you guys talking about?

Turns out the whole thing was school yard talk and the preschoolers were debating on the issue.  Some said it happens when you get married,  some said God put you there, Brady said all it takes is a kiss.

I proceeded to tell them all that he is absolutely right and you would not believe how much it hurts for BOTH mom and dad once that baby is ready to come out.

Worse than a finger pinch?  I think yes.

So, do we rule out kissing boys forever? Definitely!

But at least I got my kid to write something.

I love summer, but it drives me crazy to see my kids laying around, watching TV, playing video games, or just lounging.  You know what they say…’The idle mind is the devil’s playground.’  (My kids think I’m crazy too, so you’re not alone.)  Anyway, that’s partly the reason that I got my kid to write the previous post; make him work his mind a bit.  It’s also the reason I gave in to Tess after 10 months of begging for a hamster.  I figured a new pet would keep her busy and teach her responsibility.

Who are we fooling…I’m just a sucker who gave in.

And I knew the resident predators could be a problem.  I’m just not sure whether or not they think hamsters are food or friends.  The day after the ‘incident’ I was rushing out the door with the kids, trying to make it to their annual checkup, and there is predator number 1.

Innocent until proven guilty

And not three feet in front of her is a Bluejay who seemed to be fighting for its life!  Maggie was busy picking up random feathers that were laying all over the place which naturally grossed me out, so I grabbed her and demanded the rest of the litter ‘get in the car or you’re not going to see a video game until the end of the summer!’  And I thought about that poor bird all through the doctor appointment and as we made our way back home, a minivan with four vaccine victims holding their sore arms.  I reluctantly walked towards the front door, knowing the carcass I would soon encounter….but no.  The Bluejay got away.  Or was it set free?  Was this a message of truce between predator and prey?  Or was it the first of many threats?

I'll get you my pretty...

Only time will tell.  I’ll try to keep you posted!

Assassin's Apprentice...Mittens

Introducing Extreme Hamster...Bear Ferreira

I still haven’t been paid for saving that soon-to-be can of Fancy Feast.

I am (was) a Black Friday Virgin, as my cousin so aptly put it, so I was very excited about the expedition.  First thing I did was get up at the crack of dawn to buy my copy of the Herald’s special Thanksgiving Day edition.  I was glad to see there were no lines at the Quickie Mart, but sad to see there were no papers either.  Apparently my enthusiasm got the best of me because the papers had not yet arrived.  At least I’m ahead of the game. 

So, I went to church to tell God how thankful I am for all my blessings and to ask for a blessing on my wallet.

Fast forward to the turkey dinner.  Everyone’s wining and dining in the living room while my sister and I are huddled in the corner of my parent’s bedroom with the coveted Miami Herald, mapping out the night’s mission.  A decision is made and we slip out to Toys R Us at 7pm.  I can barely contain myself.

We arrive to fairly small, but quickly growing, line.  Thankfully, my cousin (an obvious professional) is already in line with carts for both of us.  But wait, there’s another sojourner with us…Cyberlita.

Cyberlita is what we’re calling our 83 (that’s right, 83) year-old granny.  It’s a combination between the affectionate ‘abuelita’ we Hispanics call our grandmas, and the fact that she’s known to post status updates on her Facebook.  But I digress.

After waiting in line for two hours, the doors opened to the deal-hungry crowd who was now jacked on the Red Bull they’ve been passing out.  My cousin warns us not to worry about staying together, we’ll probably not see each other at all.  I’m wondering if I should be wearing protective gear and the last thing I hear her say is something about Blue Arrows before we are thrust into aisles of  ‘Lowest Price EVER’ crap that will most likely end up at the Good Will before too  long.  Still, the blindness that comes with being bombarded by sales signs quickly settles and I’m jolted awake by the Red Shirt guy yelling,  ’KEEP MOVING!’ 

There’s nowhere to go but straight.  There’s no browsing here.  The Red Bull drinkers mean business.  They have come with a purpose and you better not get in the way.  I tried to have  a plan of attack, but the thing is there is SO MUCH crap everywhere, I swear the toys were pleading to be taken home.  I loaded up the cart with what I could while dodging the experienced shoppers until Cyberlita and I decided to call it a day night.  I’m looking for the check out line and I hear the words ‘Blue Arrows’ again.  To check out, you follow the blue arrows.  That’s great except that the blue arrows start in the back of the store, which is where the line to check out begins.  I catch glimpses of my cousin and my sister and we do make it out alive, and it seems I did get a blessing on my wallet after all.  Will I do it again? 

I’m on my way to Old Navy for $10.00 jeans….

I really have no excuse.

But, I do have a good story to tell.  I’m kinda getting to know what it feels like to be in the shoes of the people who Ryan Seacrest gets to torture every year when announcing  ’your top twelve Idols of the week are…’  and you see a group of thirteen trendy-clothed people huddled in prayer, or something, hoping they aren’t the one voted off.    No, I haven’t been discovered at the local karaoke bar…yet…but I entered a blogging contest of sorts and because America voted, (only I know it’s not just America), I’m in the top five!  Here’s what happened.

On Sunday, hubby was browsing the web for internet job opportunities when he comes across an ad for a blogger position.   “Sounds good,” I say.  “Give it a shot.”  Except the job title is for a ‘Good Mood Blogger“.  “Oh,” I say.  “Maybe not.” (Hubby is a little on the emo side…not exactly sugar bubbly like the ad solicits.)  ”Probably something you could do,” he says.  “Probably,” I reply.

Sunday night, I decide to check it out.  Looks like all you do is answer a few questions and get people to vote for  you.  I answer the questions, upload a picture, and submit.  I’m on the eighteenth page with one vote, mine.    

On Monday, I’ve got forty or so votes thanks to my campaign on Facebook.  Now I’m on the seventeenth page.  The ‘top ten’ people have close to a thousand votes.  I don’t stand a chance. I campaign again.

On Tuesday, hubby starts campaigning for me as well, only it looks like he might be more strongly connected because I’m suddenly on page five and in the top twenty.  Do I stand a chance?  I campaign again.

By Wednesday, I’ve got over seven hundred votes and I’m slowly passing up the ‘top ten’.  Every time I click in to the page, I have a new vote.  It’s like I’m riding in from beyond some distant horizon slashing these would-be bloggers left and right with my mighty sword.  I will ride up to the top ten and surpass all who dare come near!  They will shield their eyes from the profile pic of me and my little leprechaun as they watch my numbers steadily climb!

I better get off my high horse.

At press time, I have 1,619 votes and am in fifth place.  The lead guy has 2,283 votes.  If I can stay in the top twenty until November 10, I go in to ‘Phase Two’ at which time I will have to produce a 90 second video depicting why I would be the best “Good Mood Blogger.”  The videos then go up for voting and the winner is selected from a combination of votes and a decision made by a panel of judges.  Randy? Paula?  The winner then gets ‘signed’ into a six month contract to blog for their company along with a laptop computer.  And yes, the winner gets paid, $5000.00 per month.

Do I stand a chance?  I don’t know.  But the feeling of standing on that stage and waiting for Seacrest to announce how ‘America Voted’ and the excitement that comes with simply spreading the words…vote for me from places like Brazil to Washington to Scotland is enough to put this karaoke queen in a good mood.

Love you all!  Mean it!

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

Hairdresser (just to give you a visual, he’s tall, thin, long blonde-whitish hair long enough to cover his eyes, probably in his late 40s, probably spent most of those years at the beach):  “Oh really, so the bad guys did it?”

Logan (long hair, small head, long cape):  “Yeah, it was the bad guys, their the ones that put Jesus on the cross.”

Me (just lost my page) what is he talking about and how did he get on this conversation?

Hairdresser:  “And why did they do that?”

Logan:  “Because they’re bad guys so they stapled Jesus to the cross.”

Hairdresser:  “Oh, so it was staples, wow that must’ve hurt.” 

Now the other hairdressers and customers are listening to Father Ferreira preaching about how Jesus was stapled to a cross because the bad guys put him there.  And then to more mundane preaching like, “Brady is my best friend, but only on Fridays,” and “Maggie is my friend but sometimes she doesn’t want to play with me, she just wants to play with her friends.”  There’s a hint of anger in his voice with this last comment.  Hairdresser is awed and reminds Logan how smart he is.  Now I’m giddy and gushing for different reasons.  Finally, hairdresser says, “So, do you have any girlfriends?”  Logan ever-so-nonchalantly replies, “I only have two.”  I think he misunderstood the question since he was referring to his ‘girls’ Tess and Maggie.

We’re on our way out and I hear hairdresser commenting to his next customer, “That kid is smart as a whip, if only there were more like him.”

Edward Cullen, with all due respect, you don’t hold a candle to Logan Ferreira.

Tess:  Sometimes I think that none of this is real, that we are in a story and everything is just a story.

Me:  We sort of are in a story Tess.  God put us here on earth and it’s up to us to create a great story with our lives.

Tess:  No, I mean WE aren’t real, we’re just a story so God didn’t make us. We’re not real. 

Me:  I thought you were six years old, shutup and watch your cartoons.   TOTALLY KIDDING!!!!  What I really said was, ‘Wow, that’s an interesting thought, however,  God did put us here together to do great things.  Also, did I ever tell you about a guy named John Nash?”  Ok, so I didn’t mention the John Nash bit. 

Logan:  Mommy, I don’t want to die.

Me:  Don’t worry honey, I’m sure God wants you around for a long time.

Logan:  I don’t want you to die.

Me:  I don’t think I’m going anywhere either…but you shouldn’t be afraid of dying because when we die we will be in a perfect place where no one is hungry, no one has to cry, no one is mean to anyone, it’s just perfect and everyone is happy. 

Logan:  I’m going to be mean and mad to people so I don’t die.

Ok, so obviously I didn’t get my point across like I wanted to. 

Stay tuned for more ‘deep thoughts’.

It all started when a birthday was approaching and instead of settling on just a random gift, I decided to try to find something special.  Something that perhaps can’t be purchased in stores, or is somewhat hard to find.  Not that I’m all about getting unique gifts or anything like that, but you know how the perfect gift comes to mind and suddenly you can think of nothing else but that?  It’s like you can see the moment when the recipient’s eyes get all glowy and teary-eyed because, man…this is EXACTLY what they’ve always wanted.  Well, this is the fever that I got so I started googling my item and the only place I kept landing on was eBay.  Oh there were other places that sold my coveted item, but for outrageous amounts of money and I just couldn’t do it.  So, eBay it was. 

The item started out at $.99, a modest price, a likeable price.  I bid $5.00.  “Are you crazy!” exclaimed the wise sage by the name of Jacob.  (Apparently he’s done this before)  “You could’ve got it for a dollar.”  I ignored him and waited to claim my prize, although I did feel a quiet anxiety for there were four days left in the bid. 

Fast forward to yesterday and I get an email on my blackberry (which, by the way, I’m in love with) saying that I’ve been outbid!!!  I decided to use the strategy of pretending I didn’t care and waited until today to outbid the enemy, only to find that this person must be strapped to his/her keyboard because I was instantly outbid…five times in a row! 

At this point I’m grumbling that it must be the store owner that is sitting there cursing me for thinking that I’m going to get this big-ticket item for a mere $5.00 (imagine if I’d bid the dollar?)  Once I got to $15.00, and I realized that there is such a thing as ‘automatic bidding’ (something that should be outlawed) I decided to give up.  Who cares anyway, I’m deleting this from my brain.  Unfortunately it was stuck in my brain’s recycle bin and apparently, it was restored. 

About 15 minutes before the end of this bidding thing, I decided to try again.  I kept going in fifty cent increments, afraid of the limits I would allow myself to break through.  Should I?  Shouldn’t I?  I kept going because ‘surprise, surprise’ I kept getting outbid.  I put it out of my mind again.  At about five minutes before the end of it, I logged in once more and decided to go just fifty cents more….and the cheery message  pops up…”You are currently the highest bidder!”   Great.  Now I have four agonizing minutes to go before I know whether or not I’m really the winner of this garbage prize.  With every time I hit the refresh button, I kept picturing some crazy person with their mouse on the ‘place bid’ button waiting for the last possible second.  (maybe that crazy person was is me) And lo and behold, I won.

Boy is that little boy going to be excited, for in the mail he shall soon see…

Happy Birthday Logan!

The fragility of life.  Do you ever think about it?  You always hear that ‘life is a gift’ or ‘live like it’s your last day’, but usually it’s in some sappy email that keeps popping up in your inbox.   We tend to become desensitized  to this message, and for some reason we feel 1)invincible 2)that time is on our side.   And it’s not like we get up in the morning to the tune of some super hero bugle call and a voice in our heads says, “Be reckless with your time…go on, procrastinate, check your status update, zone out in front of the screen…it’s ok.”  It just sort of happens.  Until you’re faced with circumstances that prove to be a rude awakening and we’re jolted out of this dream like state and it’s like, “wait a minute, I think I’ll hug my kids a little tighter today, tell my spouse I love him, thank God for another day.”

I attended a funeral for a young life tragically taken this week, and my heart attended that of a young mother across the Atlantic.  I’m hurting from the loss of these loved ones, and for the surviving families, one which happens to be mine.  But I refuse to let them die in vain.  I have always believed that you can take good out of bad, and both of these situations are so awful that it seems impossible to find any good in them at all.  Especially with the wound so recent.  After so many wonderful things were said about my student, the clergy man at the service I attended addressed the middle schoolers asking them to choose their words before speaking them, think things through before making choices.  Then, a coach stood up to say a few words and he implored the adults to put down their cell phones and listen to their kids; answer the text message later.  If anything good can come from these tragedies, it’s this: Our time here is a gift.  The people in our lives are blessings.  It’s time to start recognizing this as so, in honor of those who have moved on.

And one more thing, how will you be remembered?